i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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