So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
