suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
