I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
