Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
