holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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