you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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