I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
