Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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