I must be too annoying 4 u.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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