Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
