The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
