She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
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I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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