Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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