No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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