do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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