wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize