The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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