i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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