what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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