why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
