Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
