textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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