It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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