Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
