It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
