Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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