trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize