in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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