i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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