so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
