Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
