if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
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Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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