I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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