How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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