haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
