Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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