gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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