I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
