Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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