absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
