I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sorry about my life...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize