You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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