sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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