she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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