I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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