She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
