I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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