i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
