hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
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Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
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I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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