were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
