what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
