can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize