Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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