Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
