He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
