We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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