my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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