I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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