can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
