Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
