Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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